god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize