Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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