his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's never too late to be topless.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize