Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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