i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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