I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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