Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
