I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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