Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
