yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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