Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
