I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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