omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
