What a fucking waste of an outfit
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
