Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
