No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
