That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
