Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
