Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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