Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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