Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
