i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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