girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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