Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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(630): View more from Illinois

she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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(760): View more from California

double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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(776): View more from

My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.

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