hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
