we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im holly from the hills drunk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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