I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
