and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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