I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
