I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
