He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
