I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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