I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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