You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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