so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
