The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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