And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
this hospital has no fireball
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
