And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
