when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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