My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
