I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
