champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
