Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
