doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
