He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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