shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
