This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
