ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
