I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
