I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
