I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
3pm strippers are depressing
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
