At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
