I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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