I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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