Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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