i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize