is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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