What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just cropdusted the office
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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