he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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