so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
