i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
