Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
