So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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