I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
