twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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